Big Mike pays tribute to his favorite entrepreneur, inventor and innovator
“Hi my dearest nephew Mike. Why do you look so depressed? What happened – you got an F again in history?”
“Unc, as a matter of fact I did very well in the history mid-term. Actually, I got a C+ which is much better than my usual D’s so I am quite happy about it. I now know I could easily get B’s in next two quizzes and the final. That should move me up to C+. We also have to renegotiate the deal on the cell phone down to C+, which is more reasonable.”
“So, what are you all upset about?”
“Last night when my favorite dragon Dumpang-Dumpang was about to take on the horrible dinosaur Garpando, I saw the news flash saying Mr. Steve Jobs had passed away. I didn’t believe it at first so as soon as my show ended I switched to the news channel where they were talking all about this death. Then I was convinced that my favorite entrepreneur had really passed away. He was also my hero and favorite inventor and innovator. I always wanted to hire him to advise me on building my banking empire. I am so upset now. I don’t know how I could ever replace him as my top business advisor. No one else comes close. Also, I have changed my mind about the cell phone I want. I want to pay tribute to my hero so, instead of the Panacea XL with a dragon exterior, I want the new iPhone. That will constantly remind me of my hero and his contributions to us.”
“You are right, Mike. Steve Jobs was one of a kind – not only a great American success story, he was admired and adored around the world. It’s a shame that he had to leave at such a young age. I am sure his entrepreneurship and legacy will be taught in schools everywhere.”
“Also, all this time I was thinking of a 50-50 swap to be true to him.”
“What kind of 50-50 swap did you want to propose to Steve Jobs?”
“I was going to give him ½ of my banking business in exchange for ½ of what he owns. That way, we would have been equal partners moving forward. Doesn’t this sound fair and reasonable knowing well my ½ could be more valuable than his? I just wanted to show him my good heart and my respect towards a good partner.”
“You really think your banking half would have been more valuable than Steve Jobs’ personal half? You crack me up. His estate is worth billions.”
“Unc, why do you think I am kidding. Not at all! Why do you think I am spending all this time on this guava tree? Because I am creating a successful business plan. My banking empire someday would be worth tens of billions, not just billions. I was going to do him a big favor by the swap. He would have been the winner, not me. I would be taking in just billions in change for tens of billions. To show my big heart I am just calling it an equal swap. In reality, it’s not. Think about the losing swap I was ready to take in – in exchange for the most modern and beautiful banks full of real cash I was going to get from him millions of tiny little iPods. Moreover, how could I know all of those tiny little iPods would work? Of course, I had a plan. I know Ricky and his useless gang would beg me for jobs so I was going to use them to separate out the defective iPods from the good ones. That done, I was planning to buy two large vessels to ship the defective units to Somalia.”
“Why Somalia?”
“Khe tells me that thousands of pirates are on the loose off the coast of Somalia, frequently tormenting tourists and merchant ships. Khe also tells me that the lack of employment opportunities there is basically pushing them to take up such horrific pursuit, so I decided to train them in fixing the defective iPods. That would have kept them away from pirating ships. Actually, I wrote a letter to the President explaining how I could save the world from those pirates and why I should be invited to the White House to receive the highest honor with a purple badge studded with five large diamonds. I have also attached the speech that the President should read out to the Press. I am planning to submit the speech to the Magnet teacher for some extra credits I could use to offset the deficiency in history.”
“Did you hear back from the President or the White House?”
“Not yet, but Khe tells me that the President takes a long time to respond. Khe has also written a number of letters and hasn’t gotten any reply back. I am not in a rush, anyway. They might be shopping around for the large diamonds for me. Now you can see why Mr. Steve Jobs would have loved to work with me as an equal partner. I am sure he would have addressed me as ‘Mr. Brilliant Business Partner,’ not like the rude next-door guy who has the audacity to call me ‘Hey You.’ I think I should send an updated letter to the President, reminding him of the diamonds. By mistake in the last letter I asked for large diamonds, though I meant the largest diamonds. This reminder is important.”
“Mike, how do your other friends feel about the untimely death of Steve Jobs?”
“I explained to them who Mr. Jobs was and his contributions to the kids around the world. Now, they also feel terrible about his death. I told them to observe month-long mourning. They all are following my order.”
“How are they mourning? Anything special you asked them to observe?”
“No soda for a month. They have to live on milk, water and diet soda.”
“Why did you choose soda and not diet soda?”
“See, they are addicted to the soda. Granny says soda is really bad for me so I don’t drink it. Diet soda tastes bad so they wouldn’t touch that. If they are off of soda for a month, I can then get them to quit drinking it altogether. Khe has a cell phone so I asked him to send a text message to Ricky indicating how we are all mourning to pay tribute to Mr. Jobs.”
“I thought you don’t like Ricky?”
“That’s the point. Since it’s our own innovative thinking, he will be mad. To show anger towards us, he will come up with something stupid to torture his gang, thereby frantically pushing them to begin communicating with us. We will use that opportunity to win over his entire gang. I know he won’t survive alone so he will have no choice but to come back and pledge his allegiance to me and my team. Of course, before I take him back I will make it very clear to him that he would never bully Gauti again.”
“Is Gauti following your mourning instructions too?”
“No. He is not on anybody’s team. He is a team by himself. Yesterday as I was walking back with him after school he sounded very upset about Mr. Jobs’ death. He told me he had a special liking for Mr. Jobs because he converted to Buddhism and remained a devout follower of Lord Buddha ever since. He was even thinking of proposing to the temple committee to invite Mr. Jobs to be the chief guest on their 10th anniversary celebration. After that, he started crying. He kept saying he was so fond of Mr. Jobs. He wrote a beautiful poem about Mr. Jobs – ‘An Elegy to the Greatest Innovator’ – and is planning to email it to Mrs. Jobs on behalf on their temple. Through the poem he explains how all great souls are eventually reunited with the Lord. He also writes Mr. Jobs’ final passage to the Heaven was luminous. While his mortal body stays with us, his soul was returned to the Lord, rested on a chariot formed by the brightest midnight stars, and was carried by the most beautiful angels. As the passage began, the sky was lit, milk-white clouds were dancing around the chariot, and angels were singing ‘he is with us again.’ The great living souls stayed up to watch the sanctimonious passage.”
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