Big Mike evaluates a number of summer jobs
“Hi my dearest nephew Mike. What are you up to?”
“Unc, I am so happy you are here today. After lots of research I now know what kind of cell phone I want. I would like to have the Panacea XP. Panacea is the best-looking phone because of its impressive dragon exterior. I don’t like the boxy phones everyone likes. I prefer the XP model as it is extra powerful and is also bundled with everything unlimited, including video conferencing – the feature I must have to keep a tab on my group. I will make sure Ricky does not steal one more kid from my group.”
“Well, if you want a phone with all those bells and whistles, you may have to wait a few more years. Let me sleep on it. I will let you know what I can do. Anyway, the other day you started talking about a summer job. Tell me all about it.”
“Our school bus passes by an office building on Main Street which has this gigantic sign reading ‘Law Offices of Buffalo, Goat and Sheppard.’ I would love to have a summer job there when I turn twelve.”
“What’s special about that place, unless you plan to become a lawyer?”
“Before I open my own bank, I want to go to the law school to become a qualified lawyer. This summer job would give me firsthand opportunity to see how the lawyers really work. Actually, I am equally concerned about the goat. I don’t want the buffalo to bully the goat when the shepherd is on break. Degoom tells me buffalos could be very mean to the other animals, particularly the smaller and weaker ones. I have a suspicion that the buffalo would wait for the shepherd to be away so it could show its real mean nature to the goat. If I were there, I could protect the goat. In fact, I have already asked Granny to make a nice and shiny rodeo dress for me. Whenever the buffalo acts up I am going to slip into my rodeo dress and grab the buffalo by the horn. I am planning to take some rodeo lessons before I start there so I would be well-trained to keep it under control.”
“Mike, if you are going to be running a rodeo show there, when will you learn from the real lawyers?”
“Well, I have to watch the buffalo only when the shepherd takes a break. I know the Sheppard would be tired and might take a long break. I have to be extra vigilant during that time. Also, I heard some buffalos are very strong and can easily pick up the weaker opponents by their horns, crashing them against the windows. So I have to make sure that all of the security guards are placed in front of the big windows to protect me from flying off through the window. I am not saying I would be a weaker opponent, but I just would like to be a bit careful. If I fall off from the eighth floor, I might be hurt.”
“So, what did Granny say about your rodeo dress?”
“She was a little confused about the possibility of a rodeo show inside a law office. She also wanted to know why the lawyers would cheer and root for a temporary summer worker, ignoring their permanent resident buffalo. She finally agreed to work on my dress once I got the job. That’s fine with me because Ricky might try for the same job. If he got it instead of me and if the dress was ready to go, he might ask to borrow it which I don’t think I would like at all. So, it’s a good idea to have the dress made once the job was offered to me.”
“What else do you plan on doing at the law office?”
“I would like to go to the court with the lawyers. Digchi knows a lot about laws and courts and tells me that the judges often whip the criminals if they do not listen. I might help the judges tame the rougher criminals by offering tougher sticks made of the upper branches from the guava tree. That should send strong signals to the budding criminals including Ricky and his gang. I noticed the top branches on the south-west side of the tree are the sturdiest so I would use them to produce the sticks for the judges. In order to maintain a steady supply of the sticks for the court I have to make sure those branches re-grow quickly. I will start watering the tree everyday instead of once a week.”
“Do they hire any underage kids?”
“No. I heard they don’t hire any kids under twelve so I have to wait two more summers. But this is the right time to start thinking and planning for the kind of jobs I would like to have during that summer.”
“If the law office thing does not pan out, what’s your plan B?”
“Unc, I like the smell of pizza so I wouldn’t mind being a pizza runner at Dino and Mino’s World Famous Pizza Shoppe.”
“You mean as a pizza delivery boy?”
“No, pizza delivery is for the big kids – sixteen and above. They deliver all over town. Kids between twelve and fifteen are the pizza runners delivering in and around the neighborhood only. They said they don’t hire two years in advance. They will let me do the trial in next summer.”
“Mike, why not Domando Bros. Pizza? They seem to be doing well. I see so many people are working there. Give them a try too.”
“I did. I didn’t like them.”
“I sense there is more to the story than you just didn’t like it.”
“See, last week I went for the trial and they said I failed it. Dumb all-body-no-brain pizza brothers! They didn’t understand what a great worker they were passing up. I know they would eventually end up with Ricky and his gang. They would pay dearly for their stupid mistake.”
“Why reason did they give? You didn’t run fast enough?”
“Not really. See, they gave me a large Pepperoni Pizza – might have been extra large – to deliver to the Botani residence. I know the Botanis. They are a senior couple. A real senior couple. As I was walking down with the pizza I felt kind of sympathetic to them. You know, how difficult it could be for the real seniors to chew pepperonis so out of the goodness of my heart I decided to lighten up the pepperonis. I took out some, but I did leave the four on the center. They happily accepted the box and tipped me a dollar. I was also happy to have successfully delivered and passed the trial, thus lining up the job.”
“Okay, I understand you delivered a real dirty pizza. What happened next?”
“Apparently, Mr. Botani called and complained before I got back that twenty pepperonis were missing. They were not happy with four. I knew chewy pepperonis were unfriendly to the denture so I thought I was helping them to minimize their potential struggle. You know, Granny has denture and she therefore always lets me take out all pepperonis from her slices. I guess the Botanis have nothing else to do so they might miss that struggle with pepperonis. I was doing it out of the kindness of my heart. Who wants the seniors to suffer?”
“So, what happened next? They immediately told you to leave?”
“No, as I was proudly stepping inside the store achieving my mission, the all-body-no-brain pizza brothers came running onto me, picked me up and threw me out on the yard. Fortunately, I fell on the bushes. Otherwise, I could have been hurt. I could have been badly hurt. Dumb all-body-no-brain pizza brothers!”
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