Through the Eyes of My Nephew - Chapter 7

Big Mike gets ready to welcome his cousins from the big city

“Hi Unc, I desperately need your help – no, no, I mean your opinion. Brilliant Mike does not need any help from anybody. Once in a while he vaguely listens to others’ opinions.”

“What’s up Mike? You look all worked up! Something tells me you are way past due on your history or social homework?”

“Not really. I am all caught up on my homework, including history and social, though the dumb history mid-term is coming. When I see tricky multiple choices of when a dead man was born – for example, 1328, 1332, 1339 and 1342 – I get very confused. Back then, since they would look at the moon and decide what year it was, they could be easily off by 200 years. Moreover, the oldest village guy with the worst eyesight would decide so they were always wrong. The whole history thing is so dumb. On top of that, when I see those tricky multiple choice questions I get really annoyed. At least, I am giving some serious thought to those faked up years so they should take my answers and rewrite history to make it look legitimate to the scientists. Anyway, let me not get all upset with dumb history again. I have bigger fish to fry. I got totally distracted from the real thing I needed to talk to you about. I just got an e-mail from my cousins.”

“Mike, wait. While you are on this subject, when is your history mid-term?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Now I see why you are so angry at history. I am sure you are totally unprepared and are ready to get an F again. Instead of cursing it as all wrong, you should hit the books now.”

“I will, but before I do that I need to ask you this question. See, my cousins from the big city are visiting us for the Thanksgiving. They live on the 34^th floor in this big building which has eight elevators scattered all around. Four elevators make express stops while others are local. The express ones do not stop on their floor. They keep telling me they don’t care which elevators they take. That makes no sense. I think they should know the right mathematical combination to avoid any unnecessary run around.”

“So, what is the question, Mike?”

“See, they have to take a cab to the airport. I would like to look smart by telling them the right combinations of elevators they should take, to avoid having to keep the cab waiting unnecessarily longer while wasting more money. I have been using this online mapping program, but it is not giving me the right results. Every time I enter their apartment number it keeps giving me directions from the apartment complex only, not from their apartment. Also, on their way to the airport they have to travel through a toll tunnel, over a toll bridge and finally on the toll parkway. All of these tolls add up to a lot of money so I was just wondering if I could save them at least two tolls. If I could crack all these, I would look really smart to them. Can you rewrite this program so it gives me the results I am looking for?”

“Mike, instead of wasting time on these silly ideas, spend some time on history to pull your grades up. If you continue to get an F in history, it will affect your overall grade too.”

“So, you are telling me you don’t know how to rewrite the mapping program.”

“You can use these programs free, but you cannot rewrite them. They don’t allow that. Again, what difference does it make to you if they manage to save a minute on the elevator ride or a dollar on toll? Get your priorities right if you want to be successful in life. At least, look at it this way: If you get a B on history this time, you wouldn’t have to hide from your next-door neighbor anymore. Actually, he would be hiding from you. Isn’t that a bigger win?”

“Not really. If I provide these solutions to my cousins, they would realize how extraordinarily smart I am. Also, when they are here with that great impression about me, they would easily accept me as the captain of the soccer team. I heard they are good soccer players so I would try them out on our quarterfinal match on the Thanksgiving eve.”

“Mike, why don’t you ask your good friend Gauti to help you with your priorities?”

“I did. He says the same thing as you do ‘Mike, work hard on history to bring your grades up.’ Gauti is very smart and is incredibly good at heart, but he also lacks sense of priorities. How could I look like another average kid to my cousins? The last time they were here five years ago, we were all very young so there was no competition to show off our smartness. But now we are all grown-ups so there is a competition between those two boys and I.”

“Mike, why do you say you would be seeing your cousins after five years? I thought you and your mom visited them during the last Thanksgiving. I remember dropping you at the airport.”

“Unc, they are my other cousins. My mom has two sisters – one older and one younger. We visited the older sister’s family last year. Mom’s younger sister and her two boys are visiting us this year.”

“How come the older sister’s family is not visiting you? You could have had a big family get together this Thanksgiving.”

“I like those cousins but I don’t like that aunt. She is mean and heartless.”

“Why do you say that?”

“See, they live in a big farm house in rural Texas. When we were there they had all kinds of animals and birds including a small poultry with several hens and a couple of roosters. I really liked the roosters. I used to chase them around all over the corn field. The day after Thanksgiving I didn’t see one of the roosters so I asked my cousin Josh. He told me his mother used one of the roosters in Thanksgiving meal. I was shocked and devastated, but he tried to comfort me by saying that was normal in their family festivities."

“Mike, that is not uncommon. Many families slaughter their own birds. I personally find that repulsive but they apparently don’t think so.”

“Unc, I can’t believe normal people would do such a vicious thing. You are not supposed to hurt your own pets. You nurture them with love and care. I love my dog like my twin brother. I still feel guilty that I ate that meal. Those two roosters were so beautiful and playful. We became such good friends that they started looking for me. Whenever I think of them, I still cry. I hope the Lord forgives us all for doing such a heinous thing. But I didn’t know. If I had known they were planning to do such a vicious thing, I would have stopped them from doing that. In fact, my mom also didn’t know that until we returned home. My mom was equally shocked and couldn’t believe they would kill a bird that they raised in their own backyard. I know my mom or Granny would never do such a vicious thing. One day as I was describing that experience to Gauti he literally broke down in tears. He couldn’t believe people could do such a thing. I will never visit them. I don’t like such mean and heartless people.”

“Mike, now go inside and hit the history books. If you can pull up your grade to a B by the end of the semester, I will get you the cell phone. You are very smart so I know you can do it.”

“Okay, I will do just that. But before you leave, please show me the face on ten for today’s lessons. I had to make peace with the face on ten, although I really like the face on fifty.”